Ex-boyfriends as Halloween candy
Plus a Halloween pop-up and November cakes
Updates for SLC Locals:
Books for November are open! Order your cakes here, including two special options for Thanksgiving.
What are you doing for Halloween? Come hang at Fisher Brewery! I’ll be selling cake slices starting at 6pm to pair with your beer. Word is there will be DJs and a costume contest as well.
Ex-Boyfriends as Halloween Candy
Because why not?
Twix
Twix was my first love. He had texture and was open to expressing his emotions. At seventeen, can you believe?!
A candy bar that comes with two pieces, my Twix was an identical twin. I never mixed them up, although sometimes when we would get stoned on Twix’s mom’s porch, it would mess with my head.
Twix was funny and sensitive. The candy is creative in its design, essentially turning a cookie into a chocolate bar. Twix asked you to prom by gifting you his written story of your young love. You’ll remember him fondly, but once he goes to college, Twix might give you chlamydia.
Sour Patch Kid
After hanging out with Sour Patch Kid for a few weeks, his friends will say “Wow, Sour Patch Kid really isn’t an asshole when you’re around.” At 19, you’re flattered. You think this is a good thing.
Sour Patch Kid comes in a few different flavors, and you loved that. You met via Greek life, but both also kind of resented being part of it. That bonded the two of you. So things were sweet for a while - you’d talk about the world, go to concerts, and stay up late in the library together.
But once the sugar wore off, it was hard to recover. And as you chew and process, and break-up and get back together, and rinse and repeat, it gets stuck in your teeth and also the citric acid makes your tongue feel weird. Best to just stop eating them.
Box of Raisins
A man of conviction! You met Box of Raisins on a camping trip in the desert and later biked across America together. He was disciplined and practical. He was also goofy and silly, showing that he was once a plump, juicy grape.
You loved reading books together, switching off who would read aloud. Like the Box of Raisins handed out by your neighborhood grump, he’s a contrarian. Everything was a statement. He was a poor communicator and eventually you realized that raisins are not candy.
Pop Rocks
Life was adventurous with Pop Rocks. You’d spend every weekend getting out of town to rock climb because Pop Rocks lived in his van. You could escape to just about anywhere for a few days at a time.
Pop Rocks taught you how to push yourself both physically and mentally. Everything was so thrilling - you literally got very high off the ground together. But you also found yourselves in some deep lows when you weren’t “getting after it.” Excellent adventure partners, so supportive of each other’s objectives, you thought that that translated to being excellent life partners. But you ended it because you couldn’t quite figure out how to fit into each other’s lives outside of the adventures. You can’t eat Pop Rocks all the time.
Cotton Candy
This is not technically a Halloween candy, but Cotton Candy was never technically your boyfriend.
He was sweet and exciting to be around. Cotton Candy knew how to draw a crowd, could talk to anyone, and usually knew how to cheer you up. Cotton Candy was familiar and nostalgic, reminding you of your family and community you grew up with. And as sugary air on a stick, it’s great with kids! Practically speaking, though, it’s quite difficult to hold onto. The second you start to enjoy it, it disappears.
Reese’s Cup
If anyone knows a funny, smart, hot, independent, emotionally intelligent, silly Reese’s Cup, feel free to send them my way.
Until next time,
Becca
